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"I'm too scared to commit because I always think I could be living a different life."
"I'm addicted to falling in love and making guys fall in love with me."
"I still write to my ex in prison"
"This lady proceeded to change in the middle of the store!"
Emotionally unavailable is a relationship status.
Always use protection, kids!
"Once I saw my roommate licking my vibrator..."
“My wife is a gold digger and a trophy wife. She doesn’t know that in my will I am leaving her nothing…"
"Why does that ring and piece of paper have to change it all?"
"When we're done we even still high five"
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